Caregivers Extraordinaire

Linda Heltzer, who usually writes about downsizing, recently posted a blog entry about the challenges of caregiving.

She says: "Along with the dilemma of what to do with all the stuff that we accumulate in life comes the dilemma of what to do with a life itself, with a person who has aged and lost the ability to take care of him or her self. Although this is not a topic we usually write about, I would like to share the stories of three of the best writers writing today who have tackled the subject, each in a personal and poignant way."

1. No Saints Around Here: A Caregiver’s Days by Susan Allen Toth
Susan Allen Toth describes what it’s like to be in the trenches every hour of every day caring for her husband. With grace and humor, Scott Simon shows us how to just be there for a dear loved one, for him his beloved mother, in the last days of her life. Roz Chast uses her laugh-out-loud funny and, at the same time, devastatingly real cartoons to depict the old-age roller coaster ride of her parents.

2. Unforgettable: A Son, a Mother, and the Lessons of a Lifetime by Scott Simon

Scott Simon, the NPR correspondent, has written a memoir of Patricia Lyons Simon Newman Gelbin, a gorgeous, glamorous, funny, mischievous, three-times married woman who raised Simon as a single mother for much of his life.

3. Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?: A Memoir by Roz Chast
With equal parts laughter and tears, New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast tells the story of taking on the parenting duties for her elderly and somewhat recalcitrant parents.

Check out the blog posting for more in-depth reviews. 

In an article on Next Avenue, Mark Horowszowski says, "Helping others can also boost your health and your career. The power of volunteering has been documented for the last 2,500+ years; however a slew of recent research is shedding even more light onto its surprising benefits. Science now proves what great leaders and philosophers have known for years:

“One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served.” 

– Gordon Hinckle
 

Here are Mark's five surprising benefits of volunteering. Check out the full article for more detail. 

1. Volunteering time makes you feel like you have more time. ”

(MORE: Can We Get Some Volunteers?)

2. Volunteering your skills helps you develop new skills. 

(MORE: Volunteering Pays for Job Hunters)

3. Volunteering your body helps you have a healthier body. 

4. Volunteering your experience helps build your experience.

5. Volunteering your love makes you feel more love. 

“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.” – Muhammad Ali

Estate Planning: Top 10 Mistakes

A recent online article on Everything Zoomer lists ten common mistakes that people make when planning their estates.

"In an ideal world, we would live long, healthy lives with just enough warning of our impending demise to get our affairs in order. In reality, many of us won’t get that chance. We could die unexpectedly, or an illness or disability could rob us of the ability to make decisions for ourselves. We might procrastinate a little too long and leave our loved ones without the information they need during a stressful and difficult time.

Estate planning is a difficult task to tackle, but one that shouldn’t be rushed. Watch for these common mistakes."

The list of common mistakes:
Mistake #1:   Not having a plan
Mistake #2:   Thinking all you need is a will
Mistake #3:   Automatically leaving everything to your spouse
Mistake #4:   Choosing the wrong executor
Mistake #5:   Assuming lawyers are always right
Mistake #6:   Steering clear of lawyers altogether
Mistake #7:   Not having a medical or advanced directive
Mistake #8:   Tying up all your cash
Mistake #9:   Not reviewing your plan
Mistake #10: Being disorganized

Click on this link Estate Planning: Top 10 Mistakes to get the whole story on each item. They're worth thinking about!

I would also suggest that you have a good, accessible financial advisor, one who knows you and understands your values and goals, and can advise you, not only on your investments, but also on planning your estate. 

Over a third of retired people have done no planning for their retirement

A 2008 survey of retired people found that:

• Over a third of those surveyed had done no planning for retirement.
• A significant number said they were not living their retirement dreams and
• They had found retirement to be very different from what they had imagined. 

These people probably felt uncertain and powerless - that their lives were happening to them. Planning for retirement allows you to make choices, and to explore options for the second half of your life.

The Retire to the Life You Design workshop will help you to connect who you are with possibilities for your future. It will equip you with tools, models, information and resources to help you continue your exploration and discovery after the workshop end.

Through our process and tools, you begin to create a plan to retire to the life that you design yourself, a retirement unique to you. In this full-day workshop you will discover:

·    Your core needs, values and strengths.

·    The Six Circles of Life for achieving balance in your mind, body, and spirit.

·    Ways to continue to work on your own terms, if you wish

·    Numerous and diverse leisure and volunteer activities that match your interests and skills.

·    Strategies to ensure that you make the right decisions for your future.

·    How to create meaning and leave a legacy.

When:      Saturday, May 2, 2015

                  9:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.

Where:     Pemmican Lodge

                  102 - 5 Ave. S

                  Lethbridge AB

Cost:        $97.00 includes 55-page workbook and Retirement Dimensions^©

Special offer: Bring a Friend or Spouse -   Reduce your workshop fee by $10.00 for each participant that registers with you!

Mid-life is a perfect time

to stand wherever you are,

look with curiosity into your past,

honor who you genuinely are,

and open courageously to the future

and to what you’d like to create.

To register, or for more information, please contact:

Barb Cavers

bcavers@la.shockware.com

403-553-2973

A poignant look at downsizing

Yesterday, my cousin and I were talking about the many decisions that were required to make the changes that would better suit our evolving lifestyles. We talked about downsizing in particular. We have accumulated so many things from our own lives and from the lives of our parents - things that have meaning for us, but not for our children. This morning I came across this poem: 

Rummage Sale

by Jennifer Maier

Forgive me, Aunt Phyllis, for rejecting the cut
glass dishes—the odd set you gathered piece
by piece from thirteen boxes of Lux laundry soap.

Pardon me, eggbeater, for preferring the whisk;
and you, small ship in a bottle, for the diminutive
size of your ocean. Please don't tell my mother,

hideous lamp, that the light you provided
was never enough. Domestic deities, do not be angry
that my counters are not white with flour;

no one is sorrier than I, iron skillet, for the heavy
longing for lightness directing my mortal hand.
And my apologies, to you, above all,

forsaken dresses, that sway from a rod between
ladders behind me, clicking your plastic tongues
at the girl you once made beautiful,

and the woman, with a hard heart and
softening body, who stands in the driveway
making change.

"Rummage Sale" by Jennifer Maier from Now, Now. © University of Pittsburg Press, 2013. 

5 Resolutions For Your Second Act: How to set your sights on the big picture at New Year's

To make meaningful New Year’s resolutions that you’ll really keep, set long-range resolutions for your second act. This way, you can help reach the goals that matter to you in the context of your entire future, not just a single year.

Bruce Rosenstein, in an article on Next Avenue, suggests five long-range resolutions for your second act, based on the wisdom of Peter Drucker. I have included key elements; you may wish to read the entire article. 

1. I resolve to embrace uncertainty rather than avoid it.

Don’t assume that tomorrow will be like today. It could be, but the future is unknown. And while uncertainty can be unsettling, remember this: we’re all in the same boat.

To embrace uncertainty and support your second act, form a book club or discussion group dedicated to learning about the future. Explore advances and trends in business, technology, education, culture and work. You could also look at role models — people you know or ones in the public eye who seem adept at navigating uncertainty.

2. I resolve to seek opportunities in changing conditions.

We may not like change, but it’s natural, necessary, and something to celebrate. . . .To do that, you need to see change as an opportunity, not a threat. . . . You should actively search for new possibilities inside and outside your field.

One suggestion: Interact with people in diverse groups and start reading unfamiliar newspapers, magazines, blogs and websites.  

3. I resolve to stop and reflect on my second act.

Every year, Drucker carved out time to engage in deep, focused introspection. He’d reflect on how the past year had gone compared with his expectations and the adjustments he needed to make going forward.

As you reflect on your second act, maximize your efforts by employing practices such as journaling and mindfulness. You can also adopt what’s known as a “beginner’s mind.” In his classic book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, Shunryu Suzuki (founder of the San Francisco Zen Center) wrote: “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.”

4. I resolve to remove and improve.

Your second act will unfold in part due to what you stop doing. Drucker recommended something called systematic abandonment —intentionally dropping activities and relationships that are no longer productive or useful. He suggested combining this with kaizen: steady and incremental improvement of what remains.

A good starting point for this resolution is to make a list of what and who you can live without and then gradually shed them from your life. Then, use your newfound time to help create a winning second act.

5. I resolve to make friends with risk.

Drucker believed that it was risky to sit back and let the future happen to you. Accept the idea that almost everything carries some element of risk, and you can create a space for risk in your life. 

Your second act may involve weighing the risks in going back to (and paying for) school, learning new technologies or creating an entrepreneurial venture. At some point, though, you’ll simply need to take that first step. As the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said: “The journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one’s feet.”